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5 Best Focus Apps To Keep You Productive Throughout The Day, IMHO

With our ever-growing to-do lists and the constant distractions of social media, it’s no wonder many of us have trouble staying focused and productive throughout the day. But there’s hope! Several focus apps can help us stay on track and finish our work. Below are the five best focus apps (IMHO) to help you stay productive and get more done in less time. These apps will help you block distractions, set goals, and stay on track. So, if you’re looking for ways to improve your focus and productivity, read on!

 

Finding focus in a world of distractions

 It’s no secret that we live in a world of constant distractions. Whether it’s the never-ending stream of social media notifications or the temptations of online shopping, there’s always something vying for our attention. Unfortunately, constant distractions can take a toll on our productivity. A recent study found that the average person is interrupted or switches tasks every 3 minutes and 5 seconds. That’s a lot of interruptions! And not surprisingly, the study also found that it takes an average of 23 minutes and 15 seconds to return to our original task after an interruption. So, if we’re constantly being interrupted and it takes us over 20 minutes to get back on track, it’s no wonder we have trouble staying focused and getting things done. But there are ways to combat this. One of the best ways is to use focus apps.

 

Why we need focus apps

 Focus apps can be a great way to improve your productivity and focus. They can help you block distractions, set goals, and stay on track. And while there are many different types of focus apps available, we’ve narrowed it down to the five best.

 

The five best focus apps

 

1. Google Calendar

Share calendars, manage events, add national holidays, add tasks, access offline, set meetings across time zones, show weather, add maps, and add Google meet invitations.

 

Maintaining an organized calendar is crucial for productivity, time management, and organization.  Instead of having many calendars spread out between different accounts, platforms & locations – sync them all to one calendar.  Using a calendar to stay on top of your schedule is a must. With a few simple tweaks, you can make more of what is already one of the best calendar software.

Available on a Web application, Android, and iOS

Price:100% Free

 

2. Groove App

In a 50-minute Groove, a group of 2-4 freelancers, creatives, and other solo workers gather to work side-by-side (virtually). Work-from-home loneliness is gone—ditch distraction with Groove’s social focus sessions. You’ll get more done and have fun while you’re at it.  In every Groove, you’ll have 1-3 other solo workers sending you good vibes. If having your team of cheerleaders is what you need, then you’re right where you need to be.  Give yourself dedicated time and space to conquer your to-do list. Is that big project sitting on your desk for a few weeks? It’s not looking so scary in the Groove.

 

Groove is available on iPhones and Android under “Groove: Productivity, but fun.”

 Price: Groove is 100% free to use.

 

 

3. Lofi App

Lofi is a calm digital space to focus, work, study, and relax.  It includes everything you need to make the most of your time. You can craft your focus environment with music, scenes, timers, notes, and more. Premium helps you achieve an organized workspace for improved focus and mental clarity.  

Price: Free Version, Premium $3.99/mth, Lifetime Access $99.99

 

 

4. Forest

 It’s available on Android, iOS, and Chrome.  The idea is simple: you open the app and say you want to plant a tree. Then you put your phone down. If you pick up your phone and switch to another app, your tree will die. Last 25 minutes, your tree will live. Over time, you'll grow an entire forest of trees, a reminder of all the time you intentionally spent getting things done instead of scrolling through Twitter. Plus, if you use a paid version of the app, your focus time could help fund real trees via a partnership with Trees for the Future.  Forest also offers a Chrome extension, meaning you can grow trees on your computer. This one works more like the other apps in this list but with an option to load distracting sites if you want to.

 

Price: Free on Chrome and Android, $1.99 for iPhone. Android Pro version costs $1.99 one-time and offers to sync across devices and more tree varieties.

 

5. Cold Turkey

 Other website blockers are easy to cheat. Cold Turkey Blocker makes it almost impossible to stop the block once you lock it.  To prevent yourself from easily disabling the block, you can choose to lock your block. A locked block will automatically prevent you from being able to disable the extension or uninstall Blocker.  In the pro version, You aren't a robot. Take some breaks while working to help keep you refreshed and focused for when it's time to get stuff done.  Keep track of what you spend time on. Discover what your top websites and applications are, and let the data guide your decision on what to block.

 

Price: Free 7-day trial, Blocker Pro - Lifetime Access, one-time fee of $39, Free for basic features

 

 

How to use focus apps to stay productive

 

1. Set a goal for your work session.

2. Choose a focus app that best suits your needs.

3. Block out distractions and set a timer.

4. Work until the timer goes off.

5. Take a break and repeat.

 

It’s time to apply new techniques to get stuff done and take control! If you feel overwhelmed, stressed, or stuck, I can help you set goals that align with your values. There are several options for working together, but before we get ahead of ourselves, let's chat!


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Why You Should Consider Hiring A Productivity Coach To Up Your Game

Productivity coaches are individuals who help their clients achieve their goals. Most people understand that to be successful, they need to be productive. However, knowing this and achieving it are two very different things. That’s where a productivity coach comes in.  A productivity coach is a professional who helps people achieve their goals by teaching them effective time management and organization skills. In other words, a productivity coach helps you figure out what’s holding you back and provides you with the tools you need to overcome those obstacles.  If you’re wondering whether or not a productivity coach is worth the investment, keep reading. If you are looking to achieve your goals and become more successful, then hiring a productivity coach might be the right decision for you.

 

Why are productivity coaches gaining popularity?

There are a few reasons why productivity coaches are becoming more and more popular. First, our lives are only getting busier. With the rise of the gig economy and the ever-changing workforce landscape, more and more people are finding themselves working on multiple projects at once. And while some people thrive in this type of environment, others find it overwhelming and chaotic. Second, as our lives have become more hectic, our attention spans have become shorter. It’s estimated that the average person now has an attention span of just eight seconds – which is shorter than that of a goldfish! This means that we’re constantly bombarded with distractions, and it’s becoming increasingly difficult to focus on any task for an extended time. Lastly, we’re now more aware of the importance of productivity. In the past, the only people who needed to be productive were those in high-powered jobs. But now, with the rise of the internet and social media, everyone has a platform to showcase their work. And whether you’re a stay-at-home mom or a freelance writer, people are beginning to understand that productivity is key to success.

 

How can a productivity coach help you achieve your goals?

A productivity coach can help you achieve your goals in several ways. They can also help you figure out what’s holding you back.

  • Are you procrastinating?

  • Do you have difficulty saying “no” to others?

  • Are you constantly being interrupted by distractions?

A productivity coach will help you identify the root causes of your productivity issues and develop a plan to overcome them. A productivity coach can teach effective time management and organization skills. If you’re struggling to keep up with a hectic schedule, a productivity coach can teach you how to better manage your time. They can also help you declutter your workspace and develop systems to keep track of your projects. It’s easy to make excuses when you’re not accountable to anyone. But it’s much easier to stay on track when someone is holding you accountable. A productivity coach will help you set achievable goals and provide regular check-ins to ensure you’re on track.

What should you look for in a productivity coach?

When looking for a productivity coach, it’s important to find someone who’s a good fit for you. First, consider your goals.

  • What do you hope to achieve by working with a productivity coach?

  • Do you want to learn time management skills?

  • Do you need help staying organized?

  • Do you need someone to hold you accountable?

Once you know what you want to achieve, you can look for a coach who specializes in that area and start working towards your goals.

 How can you get started with a productivity coach?

 If you’re interested in working with a productivity coach, the first step is to schedule a consultation call. This is usually a free call where you can learn more about the coach and their services. It’s also an opportunity for the coach to learn more about you and your goals. After the consultation call, you’ll decide whether or not you want to work with the coach. If you do, you’ll start the coaching process. This usually involves weekly or biweekly calls, where you’ll discuss your progress and set goals for the future. The coaching process can last anywhere from a few weeks to a few months, depending on your goals. And while it’s an investment, it can pay off – both in terms of your productivity and overall success.

 

Why ultra-successful people are hiring productivity coaches

 Successful people hire coaches. Yes, coaching is a secret that some of the most successful business people share. Hiring a coach is one of the best things you can do for yourself in business. Guess what? It’s also one of the best things you can do for your personal life. A coach can teach you time management and organization skills, help you declutter your workspace, and hold you accountable for your goals. If you’re serious about increasing your productivity, a coach can be the key to your success.

 How can I help?..I give life back to overworked people. I am your partner to achieve your goals and get stuff done! I listen. I don't judge you. I help you figure stuff out. I am a resource to connect you to people or places or services or apps that can help you take some things off your plate so that you can focus on your family, your relationships, your spouse, your business, and on yourself.

 

I designed a 30-minute Discovery Chat consultation for you and me to get to know each other and decide if coaching with me is the right thing for you. Learn more about this service so that you can take your time back.

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How To Break The Toxic Cycle Of Productivity And Ultimately Find Balance

If you’re a driven leader or self-proclaimed “A type personality,” you constantly push yourself to hit new goals, produce more, and become more efficient. Here’s the kicker, you probably don’t realize that your drive to succeed can slide into toxic productivity. Next time, stop and notice when your desire to get things done is extreme; you could be headed down a slippery slope.

Know that you are not alone and there’s a way out of the toxic productivity cycle. Often, I see clients with a challenge in front of them, and their first impulse is to change or do everything at once. Sound familiar? A more sustainable approach would be sitting with the problem, thinking, reflecting, and brainstorming your options. And don’t underestimate tools like rest, time outs, and unscheduled space to do nothing, which can also ironically skyrocket productivity.

Toxic productivity is not sustainable in the long run. It's important to take care of yourself and find a healthy balance between work and life. Learn more about how to overcome it.

Why Do You Do What You Do?

If you Google “work-life balance,” you will see many reasons. Some people look at it as a modern-day word for “workaholism.” The first thing is that “doing” often feels more comfortable than “not doing,” Psychology Today. The pandemic seemed to encourage toxic productivity (remember all those IG feeds filled with sourdough starters?!). The toxicity can be challenging to spot because overwork is often cast in a positive light. Time to change your mindset. It’s okay to rest, turn off, unplug and stop worrying about what you “should” do.

Just look at hustle culture, which glorifies the day-in, day-out grind of working relentlessly to achieve success. Business moguls like Elon Musk tweet, "nobody ever changed the world on 40 hours a week,” while social media influencers post videos and photos of idealized, productive routines. With all that noise, it’s easy to feel guilty if you’re not rising and grinding like everyone else.

Research shows that this can significantly impact work-family conflict and mental health. When you push yourself too hard for too long, it’s easy to measure your self-worth by how much you can get done.

Common Red Flags For Toxic Productivity

Productivity is good, but it’s sometimes hard to recognize when your productivity becomes toxic. Picture this: You are trying to get a promotion at work. You’ve been working to exceed expectations for the past three months and show your commitment to your company.

Because you’ve been so focused on your work, you’ve let some things fall by the wayside. You started missing your daily walks and began canceling plans with friends to work an extra hour or two. You forget to eat because you're trying to fit in more tasks. It seems small, but fast forward three months from now, and you’re exhausted, overwhelmed, and on the verge of burnout because you have been focused on being the“best.”

Here are some red flags of toxic productivity:

  • You feel unable to shut off work-related tasks to rest, enjoy hobbies, or spend time with friends and family.

  • You begin to experience issues with your health or personal relationships.

  • You find yourself fatigued and exhausted first thing in the morning.

  • You feel a lot of guilt about not getting things done.

  • You continuously push yourself to achieve more and more

  • You feel the need to put on a show of how hard you work.

  • You are doing unnecessary zoom meetings when you could have sent an email.

  • You work extra hours regularly.

  • You deprioritizing self-care

  • You experience chronic anxiety or depression.

How Do You Overcome Toxic Productivity?

Here’s where the rubber meets the road. It’s all about you, and it's all about choices!

First, let's focus on what’s important, not just what’s urgent.

Schedule important tasks, and give yourself more time than you need. Research shows that scheduling is the most impactful element of getting things done. Isolate the most impactful aspects of crucial tasks, and acknowledge that larger tasks require incremental progress.

A fantastic way to separate tasks and prioritize your tasks is to use the Eisenhower Matrix. The matrix goes by names, including the Eisenhower Box, Time Management Matrix, and Urgent / Important Matrix. The matrix is instrumental in placing tasks into four categories: Do, Schedule, Delegate, and Delete.

The matrix is simple: on one axis, you have importance, and on the other, you have urgency. This results in four categories:

  1. Urgent and important

  2. Not urgent, but important

  3. Urgent but not important

  4. Neither urgent nor important

Staying above the line ensures that you’re making progress on things that are meaningful to you, personally and professionally.

Self-awareness

Self-awareness has several benefits. It can help you manage emotions, set boundaries, and make better decisions. It can also help you be more productive. The Eurich group has researched the nature of self-awareness. Their research indicates that when we look inward, we can clarify our values, thoughts, feelings, behaviors, strengths, and weaknesses. We can recognize the effect that we have on others. Eurich's research finds that people with self-awareness are happier and have better relationships. They also experience a sense of personal and social control and higher job satisfaction.

Here are some examples of common benefits of self-awareness:

  • It gives us the power to influence outcomes.

  • It helps us to become better decision-makers It gives us more self-confidence — so as a result, we communicate with clarity and intention.

  • It allows us to understand things from multiple perspectives

  • It frees us from our assumptions and biases

  • It helps us build better relationships

  • It gives us greater ability to regulate our emotions

  • It decreases stress

  • It makes us happier

Start defining work boundaries.

If you're struggling to stay productive and avoid burnout while working remotely, consider setting firmer boundaries between your work and non-work hours.

So shut the door, turn on, do not disturb, time block your day, and plan a time to end your work day.

Examples of boundaries include the following:

  • Saying no to working on the weekends.

  • Committing to your family time after work hours by not continuing to check emails.

  • Permitting yourself to say no to job opportunities that, while enticing perhaps monetarily, don't suit your lifestyle needs.

  • Utilizing your paid time off when you're sick, need a mental health day, need some bereavement time, want to take a vacation, or just because you have earned it and want to take it.

  • Turning down tasks that aren't in your job description.

  • Closing your office door when you need quiet time.

  • Putting headphones in when you need to focus.

  • Allocating and delegating workloads so that you're not responsible for everything.

After setting these boundaries, ask: “Did I feel more or less productive at work? Am I more or less refreshed in my partner, friend, or parent role?”

You can always return to your old ways, but frequently, people discover the tasks or mindsets that no longer serve them.

As you experiment with hard and soft boundaries, remember that the process is fluid. The focus is to gain a deeper understanding of what you want rather than what is handed to you by a boss, customer, partner, kid, friend, or society. When you step back, reflect, and evaluate your desires, you’ll discover that boundaries don’t limit you; they give you the space to create the life you want to live.

Finally, Schedule time to do nothing.

“The most valuable time every day is the time I spend doing nothing.” Jeff Bezos, the well-known Amazon founder, said this in his book “Invent & Wander: the collected writings of Jeff Bezos.”

The big ideas often come when productive people step away from their work. Taking a break and opting for a change of scenery can bring clarity when they return to their lives.

When the most productive people step away from their busy lives, new people and experiences have room to show up. The daily grind can lead to dissatisfaction, and a hopeless feeling like nothing is getting done.

Now is the time to oppose the most common theory that "productivity is getting more things done." Block out space to do nothing in your calendar and protect that space.

TLDR:

  • Be aware of Toxic Productivity Red Flags.

  • Focus on what’s important using the Eisenhower Matrix

  • Create boundaries for work

  • Schedule time to do nothing

Instead of “rising and grinding” each day, approach your work with the balance you need to thrive. Let’s get this party started!

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Productivity Affirmations to Increase Motivation and Finally Finish that Task You've Been Putting on the Back Burner

Stop setting yourself up for failure! During my years of productivity coaching, I have seen my clients come in one after the other, lamenting that they don’t have enough time to finish everything. I hate to tell you, but we all have the same 1,440 minutes daily. One of the first tools I implement is affirmations to establish new ways of speaking and support desired changes. Positive affirmations are a great way to make a personal commitment to managing your time more effectively, achieving your goals, and amplifying your productivity. “Productivity refers to the ability of an individual, team, or organization to work efficiently within that time to maximize output,” Psychology Today.

Facts: Your mental energy has a lot to do with your level of productivity and motivation to get things done. A lack of mental energy can also translate to a drop in physical energy. Even with careful scheduled planning and time management strategies, sometimes you can’t escape the grip of procrastination.

What Are Affirmations?

An affirmation is a short, powerful statement that allows you to take control of your thoughts. An affirmation is carefully constructed to have a positive and uplifting impact. When you say or think about them, they become the thoughts that shape your reality.

Affirmations make you aware of your thoughts. When you think positively, it is easier to control negative self-talk that threatens to take over your professional and personal life.

Are You Repeating Negative Affirmations?

Negative thoughts can block our minds and create hindrances in the way of our success. Thinking that way can also affect your self-confidence and motivation. Below are some negative affirmations I’ve said before and heard from many clients.

  • “I can’t do all of this.”

  • “I just don’t have the time.”

  • “How will I get there?”

  • “This sounds like a lot.”

  • “I am always so tired.”

Repeated negative statements make you miserable, unmotivated, unworthy, and unhappy, and you can not change your thoughts, viewpoint, or life. Imagine complete control of your thoughts and actions, starting tasks smoothly and moving on to another. We crave a life where we are at our best. Put positive affirmations to work for you!

The Benefits Of Affirmations For Productivity

Adding these short, powerful statements to your day has many benefits. When you repeat these statements and believe in them, you can:

  • Build confidence

  • Shift your mindset

  • Improve your self-esteem

  • Reduce your stress levels

  • And, of course, improve your productivity

But, Do Affirmations Really Work?!

Not the answer you want to hear but, Yes AND No! Affirmations are a self-help strategy used to promote self-confidence and belief in your abilities. These simple statements help shift your focus away from perceived failures or inadequacies and direct your focus toward your strengths — those you already have and want to develop.

It’s not magic; it’s science. Positive affirmations have been proven to be effective according to a study published in Social and Cognitive Effective Neuroscience , affirmations activate the parts of your brain associated with rewards. (and who doesn’t like rewards?!)

How Can Affirmations Help You Get Things Done?

There are many ways to use affirmations to ensure maximum productivity. Daily affirmations help you stay focused and empowered to achieve what’s on your list. When you start adding positive affirmations for productivity, notice how your resistance to starting or completing tasks changes.

Regular repetition of affirming statements about yourself can encourage your brain to take these positive affirmations as fact.

Visualizing a mental image of yourself completing a new task or accomplishing a goal creates new neural pathways and activates the brain training process. Simply imagining and believing that productivity is within reach can begin to deliver physical and mental benefits.

Let’s take a look at some affirmations to jumpstart your productivity.

Choose a few affirmations that align with your core values; begin to incorporate them into your day and repeat them often:

  1. I move past doubt and take action when a new idea comes to me.

  2. I give myself permission to try and fail and try again.

  3. I am a doer. I will take action and get things accomplished.

  4. I take daily steps toward my ideal life.

  5. I control my time and how I use it.

  6. I am calm. I have a plan and I am safe.

  7. I know my purpose in this life.

  8. I will protect time in my schedule to rest each day.

  9. I put action behind my goals every single day.

  10. I will complete as many tasks as I can without feeling overwhelmed.

  11. I am successful at managing the time I put towards achieving my goals.

  12. My actions reflect my intentions.

  13. I am where I need to be.

  14. Completing small tasks will help me achieve my bigger goals.

  15. Done is better than perfect.

  16. I will not overexert myself or allow my workload to induce overwhelm.

  17. I run my home like a business; everyone has a role to fill and routines to follow.

  18. My daily goals will ensure I reach my long-term goals.

  19. I am a productivity ninja.

  20. My to-do list is achievable.

  21. Challenges bring opportunities.

  22. I will not overbook or spread myself too thin.

  23. Distractions will not steal my time.

  24. I am taking each task as it comes, one at a time.

  25. There’s more than one right answer. Each problem has a solution.

  26. One task at a time is enough.

  27. I embrace mistakes as learning opportunities.

  28. I know where I can make changes to be a better time manager.

  29. I am capable of doing everything I need to do.

  30. My results are proof of my ability.

  31. My words and my actions are the same.

  32. I know that the time to act is now.

  33. I am a proactive person.

  34. I make the most out of my situation despite my circumstances.

  35. I enjoy the feeling of being productive.

  36. Tomorrow isn’t promised; therefore, I’ll produce and deliver like every day is my last.

  37. I am selective about who and to what I give my time and energy.

  38. The mistakes I make are just learning curves.

  39. I practice working hard and playing hard.

  40. Every day I am more and more productive.

  41. I no longer allow unsupportive habits to influence my life.

Affirmations are just one self-help tool. Like other strategies, they can offer some measure of relief, but their benefits usually depend on how you use them.

Creating your own can help ensure you choose affirmations that will help you the most. Try these to start developing and using

affirmations more effectively.



How To Use Affirmations

There’s more than one right answer! Life can get pretty chaotic from time to time. As a result, you might feel overwhelmed and unable to get everything done. Some people prefer to write their affirmations on sticky notes and place them around their office or home. This way, you are constantly reminded of your goals, no matter what. Simply saying, “I will get things done,” can be enough to push you over the hump and jumpstart your future actions.

Others like to say them out loud while driving, in the morning in the mirror, or record them and listen while you are sleeping. Feel free to repeat affirmations 3 to 5 times a day to reinforce your beliefs.

In many cases, increasing your productivity is mind over matter, and affirmations are just ONE way to bring awareness to opportunities for personal productivity in your day.

What Does This All Mean?

If you are used to saying affirmations, this will be a piece of cake. If you are not, it may seem a little strange at first. Trust me when I say the words we put into the universe will manifest.

It’s time to apply new techniques to get stuff done and take control! If you feel overwhelmed, stressed, or stuck, I can help you set goals and create affirmations that align with your values. There are several options for working together, but before we get ahead of ourselves, let's chat!

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Show Some Love

Our house doesn't celebrate Valentine's Day.  <insert audible gasp>

I believe that love should be shown everyday and when love is on full display everyday we don't need a reminder from chocolatiers and card makers. 

AND just in case you still want a special gift for your special someone remember....

We love others the most when we:

1. Listen

2. Accept

3. Apologize

in no particular order—

Share the love and tag a loved one!

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6 Holiday Gifts that are a Joy to Give and Receive

Do the holidays give you a sense of dread? Do you tense up because of the expense, difficulty of deciding what to buy for so many, or because you’re just so overwhelmed you don’t have the energy to shop? These are just a few things that I heard when discussing gift giving with several women during a recent workshop on how to redefine the holidays. Whether you’re in the last days or just starting your holiday to-do list—Today, all that changes!

Stop whatever you’re doing.  Take a breath....  

Now, imagine for a moment that you’re committed to making a new choice… a new decision about how you approach holiday gift-giving.  Let’s re-label December’s festivities as:  fun, easy, relaxing, peaceful, joyful, comfortable or dare we say, luxurious? Here are a few ideas that will ease your efforts before during and after the holidays.

Six Ideas for Joyful Gift Giving

1.     Christmas ALL YEAR LONG— Kids, friends, and parents can always use a little something to cheer them up.  Why not give a small gift several times throughout the year?

2.     Handwritten note- Text messages, Facebook likes, and emails are nice but a handwritten note is ‘special’.  Take time to write down what you love and appreciate about your special someone. A beautiful blank card or stationary makes it lovely and loving.

3.     Group outing—Siblings, in-laws, cousins, aunts, uncles, and grandparents can add up to a lot of money and time spent on gifts during the holiday.  Years ago, our family decided to invite our loved ones to a group event that happens within the holiday, but after Christmas. 

Past outings included:

Bowling

Zoo day

Movie

Picnic in the park

Ice skating

4.     Gift card exchange—Collect various gift cards (i.e. Chick-fil-a, Starbucks, Target, H-E-B…) in the same denomination; we load each card with $5.  Place cards in a bag and have participants blindly choose a card.  After all the cards have been picked the fun begins, ...everyone can trade, buy or negotiate for the card or cards that they want most.

5.     Seed packets—Giving herb, veggie, and flower seeds are a fantastic way to ensure that your gift is remembered long after December.  Perhaps the receiver will even think of you when it’s time to harvest?!  (Parsley, anyone?)

6.     Anticipation—Placing a small gift or note in an enveloped marked “do not open until (insert date in the future)” builds excitement long after the holiday has ended.

With a few fresh ideas, a shift in our thinking, and some planning, you can give a gift that is perfect for you and the receiver. Your loved ones will know how much they mean to you through these easy and fun approaches. And isn’t that what the holidays are all about?

 

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Ask and Tell: Two Keys to Getting and Doing Everything You Want (and Nothing You Don’t)

Ask for what you want. That's it.

What??? That's it?

Yup, and it’s taken me almost forty years to learn this secret.

Asking for what you want makes you vulnerable, and it is scary (sometimes). For me, the more important the request, the scarier it is to ask. The treasures come when the other person hears you, and one or all the following can occur:

They help you achieve your goal

They save you lots of "in-between" steps

You can learn from another person’s mistakes

They say YES.  On the spot, and you are done.

Asking is easy. It's simple.  It takes practice, and it pays off.

What do you want? 

What are you willing to ask for?

When we ask for what we want, we also need to know three magic words that can transform our lives.
I work every day at saying "no" so that when I say, "yes" it means something.  My "yes" is important to me.  I do this to create space in my schedule so when urgent stuff comes up I am mentally equipped to handle the situation objectively and thoughtfully. It is important to remember why. “Why” should align with our personal vision statement.  If we can wield these words wisely we are on the path to peace of mind.

Being able to say no and yes are integral to our self-care. Here’s another tidbit for you.

We love others the most when we can:

1. Listen

2. Accept

3. Apologize

in no particular order—

Do you have any insights that you would like to share?

What are you not asking for that you know you need right now? Are you saying “yes” when it doesn’t align with your values?

Not sure what you need?  Schedule a time and let's chat, it won't hurt... I promise.

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Four Simple Steps to Create a Personal Statement That Matters

Would a pilot fly the plane without knowing where he’s going?  Do construction workers start building houses with “whatever” is lying around? Did you “wing it” the first time you made biscuits from scratch?  

I certainly hope not.

Creating personal statements allows us to stay on track and put first things first.  

Mission statements, help us say no, or yes, in difficult situations.  

Creating the Personal Statement is a Process. Take your time.  Although some statements are created in a day, unless you have done lots of work beforehand yours will take more time.  

Go easy on yourself and enjoy the process.  

Think about some key questions. Let’s play “get our feelings out on the table.”  We need a place to start.  A brainstorming session, if you will.  Take some time and think about:

·       How do I want to feel?

·       How will I resolve differences?

·       What kind of person do I want to be?

·       What are my roles?

·       What creates happy feelings for me?

·       What creates feelings of unhappiness?

·       What did I enjoy from childhood and want to continue?

·       What are my unique gifts and talents?

·       What do I want to feel at work, home, with my family, or spouse?

Write. Tweak. Dream. Repeat. With an arsenal of ideas swirling, it’s important to get them in one place and start looking for patterns and repetition.  You’ll quickly notice that there’s some consistency in what you desire most out of life. Take time. Write, and put down your findings in any expression that you like; poem, paragraph, acrostic, or bulleted key words.  It really doesn’t matter. Just do it.  What’s most important is that the personal statement lives in your heart and becomes part of your being.  There’ll be many drafts.  I suggest that you write a version, think about it, try it on for size and see how it feels for a few days.  Tweak it.  Dream. Live with the statement for another week.  Repeat until you decide if the statement is something that you believe in and can commit to. 

Make it matter! Now that you’ve gone through the work of creating your mission statement, use it to stay on track.  You can enlist the help of your mission statement when prioritizing obligations, creating your weekly schedule, or when confronted with request from others.

Sharing is caring.  Get crazy.

Need some help reigning in the crazy?

Post your vision statements in the comments, and let’s work on your drafts together.

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Two Three-Letter Words to Rule Your Life

Sometimes, when you least expect it, something extraordinary happens in your life.  It happens when you are not looking for it, when you, in fact, have your eyes resting squarely on another target.  Then, it hits you. And days, weeks, or months later, you wonder how you ever lived without it.

I’m reminded of the day my whole life changed. I was sitting in a hotel ballroom eating a chicken lunch when something momentous happened! I adopted, “Life Rule #1: AND over BUT.”  It was during a presentation by Comedy Sportz Houston on how to increase effective communication in the workplace. Sounds boring but let me tell you it was not! After a brief introduction, we began playing improvisation games.

The game that inspired Life Rule #1 is called "Yes, and.."

“In ‘Yes and’ the players are constantly saying, ‘yes and.’ The mechanism goes something like this. One player may start off with, ‘Your coat is so lovely.’ The response of the other player could be, ‘YES AND I made it for you.’ The other player responds, ‘YES AND I have a thousand dollars for it.’ ‘YES, AND I am going to use that money to make a hundred more coats for you.’ The players must always have the ‘yes and’ at the beginning of their sentence.”

Using AND allows you to remain open to possibilities and ideas. On the other hand, BUT "negates or cancels everything that goes before it. And is generally accepted as a signal that the important part of the sentence is coming up. So, when you use it your listener will give more attention and more weight to what you say after you say “BUT." 

For the same example above with the coat compliment, we can radically change the message with “Yes, but.” The player can say, “Yes, but it’s very itchy,” and the first player might respond: “Yes, but if fits you perfectly.” Then the response could be “Yes, but it belongs to my sister, and I am paranoid I will get it dirty.”

Try rule #1 (AND over BUT) for a week, and tell me what you think. Let’s play! When did you say “yes, and,” or “yes, but,” and what happened?

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Book End Your Days to Never Skip a Shower or Episode of Scandal

No one needs bookends until the day you want to stand books up vertically on an open flat surface. Then, everyone needs bookends. Bookends are not just for our shelves, though, they are also for our lives and can help us give structure to our routines.

I've been playing with bookending my day for almost 6 months and I’ve noticed several positive changes, including regular showering!  Don't pretend that you remember to shower ALL the time. Even when your child was a newborn? Or, when you binge watched Downton Abbey or Scandal?!

Creating my bookends (morning and evening rituals) began simply. I wanted to wake up before my children and have alone time with my husband.  In my house, for this impossible dream to become a reality, it means waking up by 5:30am. Starting my day at 5:30am ensures that I’m awake enough to have a conversation with my husband and beat the kiddos’ 6:20am alarm.  

Not being a natural early riser, I reverse engineered my mornings by going to bed earlier at night. I said "No" to binge watching my tablet in bed and "Yes" to going to sleep.  Quite a few iterations of the "Early to Bed / Early to Rise" game have resulted in bookends for my day.

Rituals that work, for now.  

My before-7-am mornings include:
Exercise
Hydration
Meditation
Conversation (with my guy)

After 9pm evenings are for:
Cleansing
Reading
Meditation (after I watch one last episode of Scandal).

What are your bookends?

How do you begin and end your day?

Share. Comment. Chat with me. I’d love to know what rituals prop up your days. 

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Plan to Put your Superwoman Vision into Action

Extra! Extra! Put your Vision Statement in action!

 

Identify your roles.  You may be a mom, wife, business owner, community leader, roller derby member.  Whatever you are list it.  Some hats you may not put on every day.  List your major roles.

Make your “to be” list. Now that you have your roles think about, what feeling you want to bring to that role?  Make a list of things "to be" in the role.  When thinking about my role as a mother I would like to be unconditionally loving, supportive, encouraging and firm. Resist the urge to do.  To do, is literally a laundry list of chores (necessary, and not exactly fulfilling).

Y’know, stuff like:

Go Grocery Shopping

Purchase Valentines Cards

Buy Pants

Make bank deposit

 

Determine the ONE most important activity you can do in each role. Some roles will have one most important activity for the day, others one activity for the week.  Again, resist.  Only one thing is MOST important.  You are not Superwoman, yet.

Plan time to do the ONE important activity. Pedal to the metal.  Put the one important thing on your schedule, and do it.  Make it a priority and put first things first.

Protect blank space.  You don't need to schedule activities or make plans to feel more important.  You are important, just the way you are.  Don't worry, life will throw you a few minor emergencies.  The blank space is there so you can breathe, and handle the crisis with grace.

Repeat weekly.  We are building a lifestyle.  A lifestyle designed by us, and I am here to help you.  It takes time and practice to build up new muscles.  You can do this!

 

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Top-Notch Apps to Create the Vision Board of Your Dreams

Vison boards are a great tool for staying connected to all the goals, plans, aspirations and dreams you have. My first encounter with vision boarding came during the scrapbook era. Before we all learned to load our photographs into Shutterfly, girlfriends would get together and have scrapbooking parties.  Tables covered with 12X12 paper, binders, glue sticks, die cutters, stamps and wine glasses were the stuff that Friday nights were made of.  A natural progression was to take the focus off the children and family vacations and start to cut out magazines to create our own vision boards. 

I was never very good at arts and crafts, and still can’t cut a straight line with scissors! I found a site to help me create a vision board on the computer.  My first choice was to use Picmonkey but not having flash up to date on my computer forced me to research other options...enter, collage.com.

With collage.com I spent less time and had better results. Simply upload photos into your project, choose a shape, and use the edit tool (if you want).  The collage below took me about 40 minutes.  Most of that time spent finding photos online, on my phone and playing with the shuffle feature on collage.com. 

Floating balloons- remind me to keep things light and fun

Picture of the sky- reminder to keep open space on my calendar, so I can say YES when an opportunity presents itself.

Milestones logo- spend time making this blog useful for the reader

Microphone- focus on public speaking opportunities

She is Quick: This is a picture of an iPad case.  I love that it simply sums up who I strive to be each day.

Quick: I often get bogged down in details, therefore I don’t want to be prone to non-decisiveness. 

Loving the details (this is my super power and kryptonite)

Curious- always willing to learn something new (hello...collage.com)

Playful-for me this is spontaneity. 

Strong- continue to use my body to stay healthy.

Meditation- a driving focus this year is to live lushly.  Abundant, rich, pleasurable, comfortable having plenty of time and enjoying what brings me great sensory pleasures= living lush. (i.e. yoga classes, coffee, tea, exercise, quiet time, and "me time" field trips.)

Less but better- read more about my motto

Decide. commit. succeed. Again, I am a researcher.  Always looking for the best most effective option, which can lead to procrastination and/or analysis paralysis. Decide. Commit. Succeed.

 

Stay on track.

 

Create a board

 

Feel free to share a board that you create, vision boarding tips, or helpful software programs. What works best for you? What do you love most about your board?

 

Make it matter!

 

 

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